half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize