wanna go halves on a baby?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
