the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize