Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
