I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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