so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
