Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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