Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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