every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
