Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
