I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My cat gives me a boner
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
