Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
