can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
