I'm so fucking centered right now
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
