Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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