it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
