That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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