Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
pray to the hookup gods
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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