just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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