No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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