I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
