we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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