my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
