I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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