Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
