i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
