All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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