I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
