there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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