Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
