need another drink. this is the easiest way
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
