dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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