Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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