god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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