Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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