Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
