I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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