i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize