jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
