so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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