Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
