My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
