Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
