Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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