Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
