i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i think i just lost a toe
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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