I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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