Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
