What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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