Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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