Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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