I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
