Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 4fran2thest0ner hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.

Fav 6 905 1422
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

Fav 11 991 1723
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.

Fav 6 1852 5751
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)

Fav 49 8463 1504
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.

Fav 16 7189 1398
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

Fav 20 1381 6578
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

Fav 10 1836 1371
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own

Fav 1 226 126
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(807): View more from Ontario

I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now

Fav 0 35 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT