Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
