the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your penis caused this!
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