I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize