Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
His nipple licking is glorious
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