jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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