apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
