I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
